Trouble in paradise<\/h1>\n
But in the midst of all this outward success, I started noticing some troubling trends.<\/strong><\/p>\n I noticed that I wanted\u00a0the stage more than I wanted real transformation for myself and others.\u00a0<\/strong>My marriage was a mess, I was exhausted and worn out.<\/p>\n I had believed that when the ministry grew I would work less. I thought when more people showed up I would feel more fulfilled, but I found myself empty, even as the ministry grew.<\/p>\n I was exhausted, lonely, frustrated and ready to throw in the towel completely on ministry. I carried all the weight of my ministry because I was always working out of my own strength and power.<\/p>\n So one day, after delivering another heartfelt message about living on mission and making disciples and such, I walked off the stage of our brand new $30 million building and called a mentor.<\/p>\n I told him everything that was going on and just said, \u201cI don\u2019t know what to do!\u201d\u00a0He asked me a question that rocked my world and changed the course of my life and ministry forever:<\/p>\n \u201cMaybe you are trying to take people to places where you have never been yourself?\u201d<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n As I pondered his question, I realized that although I taught each week about living on mission, loving your neighbors, and living an integrated life, I wasn\u2019t living any\u00a0<\/em>of those things!<\/p>\n I was trying to convince\u00a0people to go places I hadn\u2019t been before. I was teaching about<\/em> things that I hadn\u2019t\u00a0been living myself.<\/p>\n So, I quit!\u00a0<\/strong>I walked into my boss\u2019s office at the church and said, \u201cI\u2019m out!\u201d<\/p>\n Not to quit ministry, but to start learning what ministry actually was. I wanted to learn to live on mission and let my ministry to others flow out of that reality.<\/p>\n I moved my family into the 3rd poorest zip code in the United States and planted a church for the urban poor and young college students.<\/p>\n I spent the next four years learning to live<\/em> what I had only learned how to teach<\/em>. I started to allow my character to catch up with my competency.<\/strong>\u00a0I started to learn some simple practices that pushed me and my family into everyday mission.<\/p>\n As I\u2019ve reflected on my experience over the past ten years and spoken with hundreds of pastors,\u00a0I realize\u00a0that what happened to me in ministry happens in thousands of churches every week.<\/p>\n I realized that just because we changed the way we\u00a0talked<\/em> about things on Sunday mornings didn\u2019t mean that anything had changed in the way we\u00a0walked<\/em> on Monday morning.<\/strong><\/p>\n Just because \u201cliving on mission\u201d had become common language<\/strong><\/em>\u00a0did not mean it had become common practice<\/strong><\/em>.<\/p>\n At Gravity Leadership, one of our\u00a0goals in coaching and training pastors is to lead them from good intentions into concrete\u00a0practices<\/strong>. Every pastor has great intentions, but only a small few seem to be effectively translating this into\u00a0practices that move them into mission consistently.<\/p>\n What happened to me is that my paradigm had shifted but my practices had not.<\/strong> \u00a0I had learned so much about the MACRO level of the church but I desperately needed to learn the MICRO level of missional discipleship.<\/p>\n No training is complete until you\u2019re living differently. A\u00a0journey can\u2019t take place only in our minds.<\/p>\n I know a lot of pastors feel stuck just like I was. They have had their mind<\/em> changed. They know they need to train their congregants\u00a0to follow God into mission in their everyday life. They just don\u2019t know\u00a0how<\/em> to do it (besides talking more about<\/em> it).<\/p>\n They\u2019ve had the paradigm shift, but they haven\u2019t had a shift in practice.<\/strong><\/p>\n Think about it this way. Let\u2019s put \u201cparadigm\u201d and \u201cpractice\u201d on a 2\u00d72 matrix. I find that most churches fit into one of these four quadrants:<\/p>\n This was me. My\u00a0thinking<\/em>\u00a0had changed, but the rhythms of my life hadn\u2019t. I knew how to talk about where I wanted to take people, but I didn\u2019t really know how to get there.<\/p>\n I talked about\u00a0a destination with no road to get there.\u00a0In many ways, my entire ministry was\u00a0a pipe dream.<\/strong> I know that sounds harsh, but that\u2019s what it was \u2013 just something I wished for, but didn\u2019t really exist in reality.<\/p>\n Unfortunately there are a lot of churches that haven\u2019t had a paradigm shift about missional living and making disciples, and aren\u2019t shifting into any new practices, either.<\/p>\n This is an interesting one. Some churches are great at activating people into new practices, but there hasn\u2019t been a paradigm shift toward missional discipleship.<\/p>\n The result is they\u00a0have\u00a0lots of programs and activities, but it\u2019s not really going anywhere coherent. It just becomes busyness for busyness\u2019s sake.\u00a0They have plenty of roads, but they haven\u2019t defined the destination.<\/p>\n\n
Ready to quit ministry<\/h1>\n
\n
Quitting my job and starting my ministry<\/h1>\n
Moving from talking\u00a0to\u00a0walking<\/h1>\n
Paradigm and practice<\/h1>\n
![\"paradigm-practice-matrix\"](\"https:\/\/gravitycommons.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/paradigm-practice-matrix-1024x922.png\")
<\/p>\n1 \u2013\u00a0Paradigm without practices<\/h2>\n
2 \u2013 No paradigm, no practices<\/h2>\n
3 \u2013\u00a0Practice without paradigm<\/h2>\n